In today’s post we’re going to be talking about 9 red flags in men. Basically red flags to avoid or to look out for when dating. When dating or in a relationship, you want to feel safe and respected. However, some behaviors in men can be warning signs of potential problems ahead. Ignoring these “red flags” can lead to a toxic relationship.
In this blog post, we’ll go over 9 red flags in men that you should never ignore. By learning to see the red flags you can protect yourself on time and make sure you’re in a healthy relationship.
What Are Red Flags In Men?
Red flags in men are something absolutely crucial to look out for, like a warning or an indication of a toxic trait or bad habit during dating, that could indicate a problem or challenge in the long run. Red flags in dating can be obvious or can slowly reveal themselves over time through actions, words or just subtle hints. These can be bad if not seen or dealt with on time.
The red flags are usually there You just have to keep your eyes open wider than your heart.
– April Mae Monterrosa
1. Red Flags In Men: Too Much Too Soon
The first on our list of red flags in dating is what I call ”too much too soon”. Especially in the early stages of dating. ”I love you” too quick, ”I want to marry you” too quick, ”I want you to meet my parents” together too quick. Another name for this is ”love bombing”.
Too much too soon is a red flag. Without knowing you well, knowing your personality or your life or even knowing if you guys are compatible in the long run, they’re already telling you they want you to be the mother of their kids, RED FLAG Coz how?
It is understandable that when you feel that spark with someone you don’t think that much, but when something is healthy you have to think. They can meet you and be in love with you the next second. Fair enough, I know it happens but if we’re being reasonable love takes time, so definitely question it. Love isn’t even something to be rushed into in the first place. It’s not supposed to take too long either but too soon isn’t right either.
So if you meet someone today and tomorrow they’re already madly in love with you chances are they have other motives or plans. So be careful with people like that, do not let them rush you into intimacy or lifelong commitment with those words.
2. Red Flags In Men: No Clear Intentions
The second point on our list of red flags in dating is what I call ”no clear intentions”. So he wants to go with the flow, he just wants to see where things will go, he’s not ready to put a label on what you’re doing with him just yet but soon.
Baby girl, listen and listen carefully, those ones talking about ”going with the flow” if you see them coming just start running the other way! If they don’t have intentions with you now, they won’t have intentions with you next year. Sorry to say, but it’s a fact and a hard pill to swallow.
So they think you might be a good partner, they like your personality, you’re beautiful but they don’t know what they want or aren’t ready for a relationship but they still want you to be there for now. They still want you to stick around and be loyal. That is a big sign that someone is about to waste your time.
Don’t waste your time on this one. Don’t even think of trying to show him you’re girlfriend or wifey material or to help him figure out what he wants. Girl, no! He’s an adult! If he’s not willing to take you serious when he meets you, chances are he’ll never be willing to. And you sticking around will only make it worse, simple because he doesn’t even need to work or stress for something he already has. Chances are he’ll never put a label on it knowing he already has you regardless.
So please don’t be a fixer, if someone doesn’t know what they want let them go and figure it out somewhere else. You’re not about to waste time on that. We are not Bob the builders. If he can’t give you a clear label in his life, NEXT CALLER. If it was meant to be, he’ll eventually come up to you with clear intentions just as you deserve. That’s if you’ll even still be available.
3. Red Flag: Never Been In A Relationship
The third point on our list of red flags in dating is when you meet someone that’s over 30 years old. They’ve never been in love, never been in a relationship, but they have been with multiple people but can’t call a relationship.
They are most likely emotionally unavailable. Having experienced multiple people till this point in their lives but never been able to put a label to anything. Clearly, they have a problem with labels and titles coz everyone they’ve been with was either a situationship, a fling, a one time thing etc.
There are some exceptions to this because some people get into love and dating a bit late, and truly some people haven’t met that person that changes everything. So it is still possible it isn’t a complete red flag, but you should still be cautious. There’s still room for explanations and experiments.
But most times, you get to find out these people have a problem putting a name or label to whatever they’re doing. And the last thing i want for you is to waste time dating yourself. So let’s stay safe here.
4. Red Flag: Words Don't Match Their Actions
The fourth point on our list of red flags in dating is when you meet someone or you’re seeing someone and you notice that their words don’t match their actions. This is a very common one. I personally take this red flag very serious.
It can be simple things like him saying ”I’ll call you when I get home” and then they don’t call. Of course, this is normal because everyone is dealing with different things in life, so it’s understandable to get busy. Bu the proper and decent thing to do would be to drop a message like ” I got busy, that’s why I couldn’t call, we’ll talk later”. We as humans get caught up with different things so I can get that. But when it’s a consistent thing, constantly saying you’ll do A then do B. It is usually just a red flag, it’s usually not a good sign.
And i do not care how simple the situation may be, we as the queens that we are, we deserve consistency. We do not have to constantly keep hearing a man will do this or that knowing in our mind he definitely won’t do it because he never meets up with what he promises to do. Honestly it would not be worth your time, because there will definitely be a man out there that his actions will match his words just like you deserve.
Now what I am not saying is you should rush into a breakup after noticing this bad habit. A simple solution would be to talk things out, point out the thing he did and how you feel about it and let him know you do not appreciate that. A man that wants to make things work will surely make the necessary changes according to your needs.
5. Red Flag: Talk Only About Himself Too Much
The fifth point on our list of red flags in dating is that man or that partner talks about himself way too much. This one is a problem because it gives very much narcissist vibes. Why would you just be talking about yourself way too much and all the time. That is someone you need to watch out for.
If they feel they’re the center of attention and it’s all about him, him, him, and there is no intention of knowing how you’re doing (which should be the priority), how your day went, how your work is going, what you have been up to or what you want. If you guys go out on a date and instead of complimenting you and your efforts to look good, he’s making it all about his outfit and his hair and his this and that.
Or when you’re telling him something about you or your life and he instantly makes your story about himself, without hearing you out. You’re going to be in a very lonely relationship if you get into a relationship with that person.
You might not want to hear this but people like this will definitely control 100% of what happens in that relationship. It would always be what they want that will happen, where they want to go to and what they want to do is what you guys will do.
You want to avoid that from the beginning. If you go on a date and the person is just making everything all about them, even when you didn’t ask. And there was way less interest in knowing about you. There shouldn’t be a second date. NEXT CALLER!
6. Red Flag: Treating People Around Him Bad
The sixth point on our list of red flags in men is if he treats people around him badly. One thing I always pay attention to is how people especially men treat people around them.
You should pay close attention the first few times of meeting people. How is he talking to the waiter, how does he treat people rendering you guys a service, how does he talk to his friend on the phone. If they disrespect people constantly especially people rendering him or you a service, just know that yours is just around the corner.
Because it would seem they are naturally disrespectful people. When you meet someone that is a nice person naturally it is only logic that they treat people around them nicely effortlessly. So pay close attention to how to handles people around him. Because it is a reflection of how he would treat you once it is no longer the first few dates where it’s a must to appear sweet.
7. Red Flag: Always Takes Charge
The seventh point on our list of red flags in dating is if he’s the type of person that likes to take charge. He makes every single decision without bothering to ask for your take or opinion on anything.
Don’t get me wrong, I love me a masculine man that can take charge and not make me think about anything knowing he got everything covered. But it’s an entirely different story when you always choose every single thing we have to do, where we go, how long we stay and never asks me as the princess that I am, ”‘what do you want?”. Because honestly if I am in a relationship we’re going to be doing what I want most of the time. And as a man and a provider he’s supposed to put my wants and needs first.
Like I said earlier ‘‘narcissist vibes”. If you’re constantly or always making decisions that has to do with us both all by yourself like I’m not allowed to have a say or an opinion. RED FLAG! There is no indication that he wants a partner, he only wants someone there for a specific reason. Probably something he’s looking for an he feels you can provide it, that’s why you’re there.
Not because he sees you as his partner and his baby who gets to have things done her way. You don’t want that kind of person in your life.
8. Red Flag: Hot And Cold
The eighth point on our list of red flags in dating is someone who is what I call ”hot and cold” the disappearing tactic. This is someone who is manipulative is someone who is hot and cold. Let me explain.
Hot enough in the sense that they keep you interested, Cold in the sense that they basically pull away, shake you up a little bit, make you feel like you’re not that important. But once they feel you slipping away, boom! they’re hot again.
Those are emotionally manipulative people, they disappear time after time, and when they’re back they play on your emotions, try to make you feel guilty for them disappearing on you. They ghost you for some weeks, months or days, then come back acting like nothing happened or putting the blame on you. Before you know it you find yourself apologizing or trying to do your best to keep them around.
Those kind of people you should totally avoid. They have no emotional control and are completely emotionally unavailable. Stay away from those kind of people because they will stress you out mentally and emotionally. You will find yourself wondering constantly ”do they really like me”, ”am I really the problem”, ”did I do something wrong”. Meanwhile 99% of the time the problem isn’t from you. Emotional manipulation is the beginning of a very toxic relationship and it is not worth your mental health to be questioning yourself like that.
9. Red Flag: Reacting poorly to your boundaries
The nineth point on our list of red flags in dating is someone reacts poorly to you taking away time from them.
So basically you saying no to them or not wanting to spend time with them, it could be that you’re truly busy or maybe you just needed to be alone at the time or had plans with your girls. Whatever the case may be, they react poorly to that. They’re angry about it, they act entitled. These are more signs of a narcissist.
There are so many notes you can pick from these things, and trust me, the little things build up to the big things. A toxic relationship didn’t become toxic on the first date, but surely the signs were there.
They might seem little at first but definitely build up when you enter that relationship. Do not overlook it. Because overlooking it means you’re okay with it and slowly preparing yourself to always be dealing with that and more.
What should the tenth point be? Let me know in the comment section down below! I’ll love to hear some your own personal red flags in dating.
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These red flags are mainly based on experience, so also feel free to let me know if there’s anything I missed in the comments down below. You can also let me know if you agree with me, why you agree with me or if you disagree with me. I’ll love to hear your thought.
Also always feel free to email me at ”info@missfeminine.com’‘ If you have any post requests or you just want to talk. Ill gladly listen.!
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